


You'll Never Fear While We're Here

by mushembra, Tamori



Series: And He Finally Learned What Love and Kindness Meant [7]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Bed-Wetting, But a super meanie in the flashback, Connor is best boyfriend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Just touches base but is pretty obvious from the brief nightmare description, M/M, Mistrust, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, fear wetting, mention of child rape, no graphic description
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 03:35:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15721152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mushembra/pseuds/mushembra, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamori/pseuds/Tamori
Summary: Gavin has one nightmare, one thing he fears the most above all else; to receive the punishment his father has never resorted to. His body was sacred, something he only wanted to give to someone he loves dearly, and the thought that he could return and defile him was a horror he couldn't fathomHe didn't always have a welcoming pair of arms to go to, not when he had pushed everyone away with his callousness. But a fateful night when he turned to Hank in his desperation evidently opened up doors that would lead to warm embraces to banish away the monster that haunts him in the blackest nights





	You'll Never Fear While We're Here

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING!!!  
> So there is obvious brief description that little Gavin is going to be raped, but no description of the action, so tagging warnings was...tricky...but be aware that it's in there  
> Tread with caution, but I hope you enjoy it regardless

If anyone had told Connor he would be curled up in a bed with one Detective Gavin Reed, a soft and fond smile on his lips, he would have told them the chances of that happening were infinitesimal. And yet here he was, watching over him for just a while as he slept before he himself went into standby. Sleep was when his human was most peaceful. Not always, sure, not on the nights when the nightmares plagued him and he woke in a panic, fighting a man who wasn’t there, but there were more nights these days when he slept easily through the night. He was blessed with this chance to see the detective like this, in a manner that only one other person had the honor to see him. He was such a beautifully complex mess, and the android wouldn’t pick another soul on this planet to spend his days with.

Seeing him sleep like this often brought back a memory, one that Connor was not the least bit proud of. It was before they had come to an understanding, before they started to get to know each other better, before those walls started to come down. It was a reminder to the android to always be open and understanding, to lead with love rather than rationality and calculation. Because sometimes the things we do come from a place of pain and desperation, and there was never anything rational about that.

 ----------------

  _Please, d-dad, I don’t—”_

_A loud slap echoed through the air, pain stinging at little Gavin’s face. His father loomed over where he lay sprawled on the bed, stripped of every piece of clothing, now laying haphazardly on the floor without care. That disgusting man started to undo his belt, erection straining in his pants, and it terrified the boy, who wriggled back across the tattered and stained sheets, the sobs loud and hysterical They would only anger his father, but he couldn't help them in his panic._

" _You done fucked up this time way too far. You…you made me look like a fool! You like doing that to your dad, huh? Making me look like a jackass? Well, I got something for you.”_

_Gavin watched in horror as his father pulled himself out of his jeans, grabbing at a thin ankle to yank the boy closer to the edge of the bed. He dared not kick, dared not struggle. There was no fighting it, no matter how much he wanted to. His father was too strong, wired by drugs and hormones. He licked his lips and lined himself up, a sick sneer pulling up his lips._

_“Better brace yourself. This is gonna hurt…”_

_“Dad, no!”_

Gavin writhed in his sleep, sweating, panting, crying out in his dismay as his father took hold of him and did whatever he damn well wished. And it wasn’t until the imagined agony had become too much to bare that he finally woke with a shout, clapping his hand over his mouth to silence himself out of habit. The final punishment. The one thing his father had never done, defiling his body in a way that would leave him broken beyond repair. There would be no coming back from it. Deep down he knew his father wasn’t there, his father couldn’t harm him anymore. And yet every dark corner of his apartment spooked him. He was waiting for those green eyes to peer at him with malice from the shadows, to take the last shred of himself that he had left. He didn’t want to be alone with this. He couldn’t be alone with this. It was too big, too heavy, too terrifying.

But who could he go to when he was nothing but a monster to everyone he came into contact with? A monster who pushed everyone out of his life with anger and bitterness. They weren’t the ones who hurt him, and yet he wanted to hurt them first so that they wouldn’t have the chance to do it to him. It left him so hopelessly alone, and it made a cry break from his hold over his emotions. Who did he have to turn to? Who could he call on to fucking help deal with this mess? Well, one person came to mind, but that someone he was fragmented from maybe worse than anyone else in the department. There was a time when he could probably go to him, but now…

Yet Gavin found himself to his feet, sliding on his hoodie and shoes before taking off in the direction of the home of Hank Anderson. His legs and lungs burned, eyes stinging from the hot tears mixed with the cold night air. It was those damn androids, those YK models that were coming up used, broken, covered and filled with semen samples that made it so fucking obvious what they were being used for. Because it’s not a child sex slavery ring if they’re just androids. They’re just machines, what did it matter? Gavin didn’t think it mattered to him, tried to tell himself that even as he felt sick at the crime scene, even as he had to turn away, shuddering with such a wave of sadness and terror. He saw himself, broken by his father on his bedroom floor, saw his father naked in all his disgusting glory, rubbing himself off to a son he had already used up and was now finding pleasure in the pain he had inflicted. He had to leave the scene, left unannounced. Hank was probably just going to slam the door in his face, and the thought made his burning lungs beg for more air. He just couldn’t be alone with this.

In retrospect running the some odd miles it took to get to Hank’s house probably wasn’t a smart idea, but the panic made him flee, and he let his body run on autopilot, trusting his legs to carry him to his destination. He tried to get his mind off of the case, off of the nightmare, but the shock of it threatened to stall him in his tracks. He had to keep going. If he stopped, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get moving again. So he ran, and ran, the sound of his worn sneakers slapping the pavement the only sound in the quiet night. He knew no one was behind him, but still he ran like a man being chased down. Chased by a shadow that dogged his heels his whole life, who would continue to do so until he fucking died. It pushed him to move faster, and he was practically sprinting by the time the home he was looking for came into view.

Damn what time it was, who the fuck cares if Hank was sleeping. Gavin needed someone before he split down the middle, shattering apart with no way to pick up the fucking pieces. He was fracturing, he wasn’t sure he could hold himself together. He was a selfish prick for it, but he just couldn’t do it alone. He hopped up to the door, and proceeded to slam on it frantically, the loud barking of the man’s St. Bernard sounding from behind the door.

“Hank, please, please, please open up!”

Gavin’s voice was soft and pleading, begging to himself rather than anyone else. He just had to open up. I mean listen to that damn dog, he’s gotta know someone’s here! Please let him open the door. The nightmares were going to get him, he could feel the darkness of the outside street creeping up around him. It took a solid minute before the sound of the locks sliding filled his ears, and the person who greeted him was not who he was hoping for, and that hard-set expression told the detective he was not at all welcome. Connor was dressed down in a pair of sleep pants and a white t-shirt, making him look so very human aside from the LED spinning yellow on the side of his head. There was nothing warm about his expression, and for once in a very long time, Gavin felt intimidated, likely because of his vulnerable state.

“Detective Reed. For what reason are you banging on our door in the dead hours of the night?”

“Look, I need…I need to talk to Anderson.”

“You do? I’m not sure I understand in what capacity you could possibly need to talk to the Lieutenant. Surely it can wait until the morning if it has something to do with the case.”

“No, it really…it really fucking can’t. Just let me in.”

Gavin was almost not above shoving past the android, but that hard look in Connor’s eyes left him trembling, frozen on the stoop of the house. He doubted in his state he could strong arm his way passed him. Suddenly the thought of being denied terrified him, and a coldness started to seep deep into his bones.

“Gavin, I need to tell you something, and you are going to listen.”

“Conn—”

“Shut…the fuck…up.”

Gavin could feel his breath catching in his throat, eyes widening as he shook his head. He should leave. This was a mistake. This was a terrible mistake and he regrets it. He just wants to get the fuck out of here, but he can’t get his legs to work. They just wouldn’t move. It was like those brown eyes were keeping him glued to the spot. He needed someone, he needed no one, he just couldn't reconcile all of the conflict in his head.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but you’re not welcome here. You have done nothing but show malice and cruelty to Hank and I. You treat us, and everyone in the DPD, with disrespect. You are a repugnant man. I want you to turn around, and leave the premises. You are not now, nor will you ever be, welcome here. So go home, Detective, to your empty house and your lonely, bitter life. You’re the one who did this to yourself.”

The words weren’t loud, but the intent to hurt was clear (though if he were in his right mind, he would know Connor likely was this frank because he didn't for a second believe the words _would_ hurt). Gavin could feel how his heart ached and constricted, how his stomach lurched as it fell. Alone. He was going to suffer through this shit alone, like he always did. But he just couldn’t do it this time. He couldn’t. And his inability to move was obviously aggravating the android, because his LED was sparking a bright red, and anger finally twisted at his schooled features.

“Get the hell out of here!”

And that was it. Gavin could take no more. He could feel the tears starting to brim in his eyes all over again, they burned from the pain of holding them back, but he couldn’t cry. Crying brought more pain, which brought more crying in an endless cycle. He shook with the effort of containing himself, gritting his teeth, face going red. And if he had any presence of mind, he would see the look of surprise on Connor’s face. He appeared downright flabbergasted, and all Gavin could do was hold himself together with a thin piece of string, jaw working with not a single word being uttered. Because there was nothing to say, nothing that could be said. The only option he had available, that door was shut firmly in front of his face, and now he had fucking nothing but the dark shadows and the nightmares. No one would come to his rescue, but why would they when no one ever has?

“Connor? Fuuuuck what is with all this ra—Reed? What the fuck are you—”

Gavin could feel a pair of hands on his shoulders, and it jolted him to awareness. He came face to face with Hank, who appeared actually a bit concerned. All he could really see, however, was that hint of irritation at being woken up so late in the night, and he nearly recoiled from the touch, head shaking back and forth rapidly.

“Hey, Gavin, look at me. Fuck, what the hell happened to you? Come on, let’s uh…get you inside.”

Gavin allowed the Lieutenant to lead him into the house and to a worn out couch, and he couldn’t help but collapse from the exhaustion onto protesting old springs. His legs ached, his breathing was still catching up in his throat, and his mind was keyed up and frantic beyond his control. He couldn’t contain the sense of panic, couldn’t swallow it down. It left him locked up to the two now sitting on either side of him, body refusing to heed him.

“Gavin, come on, you’re freaking me the fuck out. What. Happened?”

Gavin glanced down at his hands, and fucking hell they were trembling. He clenched them into fists, but it didn’t help. Not one bit.

“That…fucking…case…those andr—kids. I just…can’t…couldn’t…”

“Ah jeez, you haven’t been to a scene that bad yet, huh?”

Gavin could only shake his head numbly. Homicides were one thing. Usually it was some scumbag who deserved it, or the nature of the body wasn’t quite so grotesque. But these were children, android or not, torn up, covered in semen, used for nothing but sexual gratification then shut down for good. What sort of sick bastard…it was fucking disgusting, and all he could think was he would be next, and it would be his father who would get him in the night. He let a violent tremor shake through him, and he could hear a sad little grunt come from the old man.

“Look, I don’t know what it triggered, I ain’t gonna pry, but listen here; don’t go through this shit alone. We have a precinct therapist and psych doc for a reason. You need to work through this. I can’t promise you won’t see this shit again in the future. There are some sick fucks out there. But…you can’t carry this shit by yourself. Not even your boiled hardass self, Gavin. You’ll break yourself to pieces like this. It’s how we lose good officers…”

Gavin could only give a nod, shivering with a sudden cold and hollow feeling in his chest. He pulled the hood of hoodie up over his head, hugging himself tightly to bring Rufus, tucked hidden in his little pocket, closer to his body for comfort. And fucking Hank then did what he didn’t expect; the man brought him in a close and safe embrace, one he wished he could just hide in forever. He knew he was going to have to leave now that he was calming down in those arms, despite feeling so numb, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay here in the safety of those arms, an embrace being the only thing he’s ever wanted in his life. But this was a quick one off thing, and when the crying finally died down and he started soothing out, Hank asked if he was feeling better as he and Connor stood, ready to escort him to the door. He knew when he wasn’t wanted. But at least he managed to hold the shards of his fractured psyche, even just for one more day. But how long could he continue to live like this? If only he could hear what the lieutenant and Connor were discussing on the other side of the door, the wondering that started entering their heads, maybe he would realize he there would be hope for him to look forward to in the future.

\--------------

That night was committed to his memory banks in great detail in Connor’s mind, and now that he knew better, he was ashamed of his actions. Now that he knew Gavin was suffering from a nightmare triggered by his PTSD, and he desperately wanted someone to tell him he wasn’t alone, he would be ok, that he was loved. He now spent every night here with the detective, for the night that came when the nightmares would plague again. Because it was inevitable that they would come to haunt him again, and as he watched over his sleeping lover, he could already see how his face was starting to contort with fear, brows furrowing, eyes scrunching tighter.

“Gav?”

“Dad…dad please, I don’t—

Connor watched as the man’s back started to arch, body writhing in an attempt to get away from invisible hands. It was when the shouting started that he sprung into action, hands taking a hold of quivering shoulders in an attempt to shake him awake gently.

“Gavin! Gavin please, wake up! He’s not here! Gavin!”

“NO!”

Connor narrowly avoided a face to face collision when Gavin jolted upright, sweating, shaking, heaving for breath with hands clapped over his mouth. Then came a sob, and a hissing sound, followed by a wetness starting to seep into his sleep pants beneath his bottom. It was enough to break his heart to see him in such distress.

“Oh Gavin…ssshhh…”

“Connor I…I c-can’t…I’m s-sorry…”

“Go ahead, just let it all out. I’ll clean the sheets later.”

Connor pulled the crying Gavin into his arms, rocking him back and forth slowly with a hum on his lips, letting the poor thing purge his body in it’s entirety. Despite the reassurance, the detective continued to mutter apologies between his cries. He was already making a call to Hank, giving the clock and the late hour a mere consideration. He knew their father wouldn’t mind, even if he’d be a little grumpy at waking up so late in the night when they were to be in to work the next morning (or that morning, rather).

**“Yeah…Connor…the fuck do you—”**

The other line went silent, and Connor knew his father must hear the crying from his distressed lover. And any frustration would immediately fly away. That's just how Hank was; seldom any real anger or ill thought bore towards his boys.

**“That nightmare again, huh? Figured...I was a bit worried with that interrogation we had to fight through today...”**

“I’m going to get us changed and we’ll be over in a few minutes. Perhaps get a movie ready in the living room until we get there.”

**“Yeah, yeah, I’ll get his weighted blanket out of the closest. See you boys in a few minutes. And Con? Thanks for the call. I don’t give a shit what time it is. Either of you need me, I’m there, ok?”**

“Thanks dad, see you soon.”

With that Connor hung up, looking down at the miserably sniffling man who was looking at him with wide eyes, expectant and hopeful. He knew what he needed, knew more and more every day with every new piece of Gavin he was honored to see, no matter how dark it may be.

“Are we—”

“Yes, we’re gonna go see dad, alright? Come on, lets get changed and head over.”

Connor made quick work of changing into a clean pair of clothes, Gavin fumbling a bit more with his trembling hands. It only took about five minutes to get to Hank’s house by car, and he was standing at the door, a soft yet sad smile on his face as he greeted them. The android escorted his boyfriend to the living room, settling him onto the couch with the weighted blanket tucked in around him, and he couldn’t help the fond feeling in his chest when he watched him pull Rufus out of his hoodie and hold the stuffed dog close. It was a far cry from all of those months ago. He remembered when Gavin was so closed off, so bitter and angry, keeping his secrets closely guarded. Now here he was, willing to be vulnerable, willing to accept their help and love in his trying times. He used to wonder how anyone could ever care for such a despicable man. Now he often wonders how anyone could not love him when it’s all he’s ever wanted and needed.

“Do you want anything else, hun?”

“Just you and daddy…and maybe Sumo…”

Connor nodded, settling himself at Gavin’s legs pulling them across his lap to rub them gently while Hank sat where he could pull the man into a close embrace, allowing the detective to snuggle in close. The android then whistled Sumo over, and the dog eagerly lumbered over to lay down in front of the couch. Gavin’s fingers reached out from beneath the blanket, scratching into the fur, seeking it’s warmth and comfort. And slowly that tension and those tears started to calm and ebb away, and he could tell that despite the nightmare, his lover was finally starting to let the darkness fall away in this safe space with his family. Connor can’t take back how he treated Gavin before, he couldn’t take back his biting words and accusations while he was suffering such a personal hell in silence. But he could make up for it by opening his mind and his heart now, to give the man everything he needs to finally feel free to live his life in the light he was starved of for far too long.


End file.
